Sunday, April 25, 2010

superb night

Here I am. just got home from Kartini's belated mini birthday party. somehow I envy her family togetherness, which led to a successful celebration. her 2 brothers took role as photographers. she herself is a photographer-wannabe. I could feel how much her parents love her. or maybe not. it should be more than I thought it was. well it's not that I have an unhappy family or my parents don't love me as much as they do. But I wish my kinship with my brother was as good as hers. My brother is sometimes too ignorant about me and seems like living in his games. It's not totally his fault, I admit I'm not any good sister either. I should learn more from those whose relationship with their siblings is 'really like family'. you know what I mean? He/she can treat their siblings like friends (well more than that). I feel so down whenever listening to the giggles and stories told out from my 2 girl cousins who are biological sisters. I will never be a part of them anyway. I mean would you prefer telling things to cousin than to sister? another thing, I wish I and my parents could talk more, especially with my father. I and he are like enemies living in the same house. or maybe it was me who started the 'war'. But he is never mad to me when I show my disrespect to him. never. though I feel so guilty, I just can't understand why I behave like that. I would like to change, but I feel so annoyed when he starts the conversation. I will shout when talking to him. and right at that moment, I wanna slap myself. But still I continue talking that way. Do you guys have the same problem with me or it's just me? :'(
I guess I should spend more time on my family and friends than on studying. What's the point of studying hard and pursuing your dream when you have few friends and can't get the i-am-a-part-of-a-family feeling? I have had enough of those.

somebody said we look like twins (?)

Friday, April 23, 2010

random and languid

and at last. at last. at last.
my last exam on junior year. nothing special. and I'm not as excited as I thought I would be. the exam just happened. and *tadaaa* in like 3 months I will be stepping in my new classroom. Okay, don't count the possibility of human errors made in my National Exam. think positive kay?
I went to Sun for a 2-hour refreshment session. Well it did help me. bought some 'ammunition' for the preparation of confronting more-than-2-month holiday. and now I'm ready.

someone ruined the mood of posting. I had been so excited already before then. for you, I'm not mad. and I have never been. and I suppose I will never be. This tiny problem is not gonna drive me mad any longer. To let you know, I never regret you being a friend of mine. Thank you :) cheers ! hahahhaha :D


Saturday, April 17, 2010

another weep

okay. I'm suffering from the syndrome of "I know I could do better." silver doesn't mean second rank. I wouldn't be this down if it was. the point is that everybody gets one, either outstanding, gold, silver or bronze. and now you understand
s i l v e r i s s t a n d a r d
like what I mentioned on my very first post on this blog, I hate my everything in standards.
and .... I felt like crying right when I saw the disappointed face of my teacher. But what made me still smiled, is that ... that she still praised me. she said "it's alright. you have done your best. and you improve much than before" she was way too kind, and so I fell deeper to the gorge of guiltiness. so sorry :'( can't payback your kindness. the flashback of her asking me to come early in the morning for practicing flooded my mind. the way she supported and motivated me. and the time when I played the song. the moment when I couldn't remember the notes. the silver award. the gold achievers. they drive me crazy. should try harder to get over my on-stage nervousness next year.

P.S. I wish my parents were there, watching and giving me applauses, then even if I had played worse, it would be all worth.

I still thank God. thanks, I'm not bronze.

Friday, April 16, 2010

yo yo yo

has finally finished the School Exam. overall not bad, not as good as usual tests though. I'm used to not studying well for the subjects such as geography, history, religion, and all those boring ones. not to mention, CIVICS and ELECTRONICS. the hell man ! why should we study them? i understand nothing for the 3-year lessons, especially electro. I have always been sitting in the lab chattering and yawning.
done with the School Exam, but not with semester test. don't get the point on what's their difference eh? me either. except for the fact that I study less harder than i did on School Exams.
anyway, i got 4 mistakes for my math last Thursday. worst in 3 years, and yet it happened on my last test in junior year. it couldn't be worse. I cried and i wonder why. at least I stopped thinking about it after a few hours, not like the Herdiyenti at her primary years, at which I wouldn't stop regretting my low marks even after several WEEKS. at least I improve.

okay super best luck for my piano competition tomorrow. gotta go

Saturday, April 10, 2010


Have I told you that I'm a hypocrite?
I should have realized and left when I knew your acts which totally doesn't suit me, forever and always. I can't stand being with you, X, but too bad i have no guts to face and tell you "I dislike you. Please go away out of my life" I just can't. So here I am, inside of life's lies. Should I continue? may hurt you but I'm tired of people commenting on you, never heard of any good ones. I wanna reply "yeah I hate X either" and proves my hypocrisy (?) Have you ever been in my situation guys? When you hate someone but you can't leave him/her because of some reasons, some consciences telling you "You will have been very cruel to leave him/her, he/she will ignore you and talk and tease you behind" I hate that. I know I shouldn't care what others might say or think about me, but I'm not that typical person. I wish I wouldn't have anyone I hate or hates me but in fact they do exist. And the only I can do for now is acting like nothing happened, faking smiles, and continue accepting you, as my "FRIEND".

school test starts on Monday. and as always, I haven't studied ANY yet.

P.S. the photo uploads were postponed yeah due to the lame internet connection.
anyway, you should go buy and watch the amazing Taiwanese series - Autumn's Concerto.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Happy belated birthday, Herdiyenti Howard ♥

7 April 2010

got an earthquake-morning-call at 5 something. let's consider it a 'blast' referring to my birthday or a mourn to those in Aceh (centered in Sinabang) who had suffered from the disaster. Luckily the 7.2 Richter earthquake took no victims. God blessed. For those who had lost their houses or got severe injuries, BE TOUGH !
somehow the disaster had caused the shitty electricity provider (so-called-"Perusahaan Listrik Negara" which back to those pasts, provided more black-outs than electricity) to do another black-outs for us in Medan. They said something (or things) broke down. i don't care what it was, but it caused black-outs. well, it was another "luck".

then let's CHEER UP for these ! :)

Converse ♥

thanks a bunch for the people above and those who sent me birthday wishes via text, facebook, twitter, MSN, or by mouth. thank you :)

anyway, today was the last day of school. had some shoots at school but the lame internet connection makes me kind of lazy to upload. maybe tomorrow. see ya

Sunday, April 4, 2010

hello Sunday night !

wallet, watch, and a birthday card :)

the gift box I wrapped for tomorrow's birthday boy, Hendro :) let's greet him an early birthday wish ! well, there is actually another present which is a Converse school bag but too bad I was too lazy to picture it. ah, are you starting to think that he is someone so special that i have to give that lotta presents? I shared the presents with the other 20 friends, so stop yourthoughts haha. i like wrapping gifts and other craft activities, so it's me who did the job. It took me approximately an hour to turn the shoes box into this, yeah I'm not a professional yet.

I went to Sibiru-biru this morning for the grave-praying to my maternal grandpa and that's why I love Chinese tradition which teaches us not to forget our ancestors, there will be no "we" without them.

P.S. again, I edited some words in my previous posts. and for Hendro, please do not read this post before tomorrow HAHAHA *stupid*

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Clash of the Titans

Clash of the Titan Movie Synopsis: Born of a god but raised as a man, Perseus (Sam Worthington) is helpless to save his family from Hades (Ralph Fiennes), vengeful god of the underworld. With nothing left to lose, Perseus volunteers to lead a dangerous mission to defeat Hades before he can seize power from Zeus (Liam Neeson) and unleash hell on earth. Leading a daring band of warriors, Perseus sets off on a perilous journey deep into forbidden worlds. Battling unholy demons and fearsome beasts, he will only survive if he can accept his power as a god, defy his fate and create his own destiny.

i love this heavenly scene the most :D it shows the God's residence at Olympus (if I'm not mistaken)
© Warner Bros Pictures

I learnt a moral lesson from the movie :
"Do not be arrogant and ungrateful for what you have had."

watched the movie with a friend who at a sudden offered a ticket for me this morning at school (remember I joined the test?). I had no reason to reject as I had heard many good responds from people who had watched it before. and I didn't feel any regret after watching like how I felt in some other movies. it was awesome, maybe it is just because of my curiosity in myths and legends. The movie has successfully seduced my eyes to keep watching until the very end and my brain to keep digesting the plots. i was out of the theater, very much contented :)

Friday, April 2, 2010

a 3-day post

National Exam is no more to be stressed of (actually not for me, i didn't really study because it was so easy to yes, cheat, and asking for some "help" from mates nearby). such a disgrace? maybe yes but no because almost everyone did so. i spent the rest of the day watching Autumn's Concerto which i've once stopped due to the shitloads of homework and upcoming exam. the next exam will be on Monday, April 12 so I can simply relax A BIT for now.

set out at 7 for Berastagi. arrived at 8.30 and set out for Simalem at 9, arrived at 11 (the trip wasn't that long but we took the wrong route -__-) and you can now imagine how boring the trip was because we spent the time mostly in car. and i got stomachache and headache and and and many else. the route to Simalem was so...indescribable, so not smooth. "how nonchalant our government is" i mumbled along the way. then i kept convincing myself not to step any more foot on the area unless for some unexplainable reasons after arriving the resort. the sceneries are beautiful, that's what my parents considered. but due to the lack of my nature enjoyment, i found them quite usual and it wasn't worth sitting on the car-nearly vomited + bumping my body along with the car for almost 4 hours only to see these. ah whatever. have i told you that i came with my mom's friends too? and with their children. at least that's the relieving thing :) we went to Mikie Funland at Berastagi and so we got mates to enjoy the games with.

the international class enter test. i wonder what the forms we submitted are for because they require all of the 3rd junior-year students to take the test. wish me luck then :D

P.S. my posts are seldom not about complaints, ain't they? kindly forgive, it's just one of the human nature, unable to be satisfied with what we have or get.